Jesus loves me . . . and you, too!

My baby girl is 8, as of, 6 days ago, ughhh!  I miss the little baby and toddler that depended so much on me and David, but I love and am so proud of the little lady she is becoming!  She is also out of 2nd grade and going into 3rd grade.  Wow!  She also got a gift from David, Mom, MawMaw and I that will not be topped for a very long time . . . her very own Ipad 2!

Christian is awesome!  Makes us laugh and smile all the time!  He is a typical boy with mud and dirt, climbing and jumping!  He is going to be in the 3 yr. old class again to keep him on schedule with school requirements.  He can reconize letters and write some of them.  He is also coloring really well inside of the lines.  He's favorite color was green, but now it's blue.

A lot has happened this yr already.  Mom Gooch has gone to heaven on Jan. 11, Mawmaw Cook turned 96 in Feb. and had a mastectomy in April for breast cancer, Uncle Armand's mom (Mrs. Ann) and dad (Mr. Armand) died this yr.,  Mr. Walter's cousin, Red, died this yr., a friend from church's daughter only 2 yrs. old has tumors in her brain and spine and now has a trach, port, and g-tube for feeding, a girl in Superchurch has inoperative brain cancer was just baptized last weekend, my cousin, Shelly, had mastectomies for breast cancer, Mrs. Deborah's mom, Mrs. Shirley, had a stroke and is unable to walk, and Bubba's mom, Mrs. Angie, had brain cancer which was removed on Tuesday, but also has kidney cancer and cancer where her kidney was on the other side, and Jesse got rushed to the ER for a ruptured liver and Becky's grandmother died.

But . . . I'm trying to keep my head up, look at the bright side, put a smile on my face,  because I know Jesus loves me, YES, JESUS LOVES ME, YES, JESUS LOVES ME, THE BIBLE TELLS ME SO!  That's what Christian would say.  When I ask Christian . . . how did you get so cute?  He replies, "Cause Jesus loves me!"  . . . how did you get so big?  "Cause Jesus loves me?"  . . . how did you get so strong?  "Cause Jesus loves me?"

My people

Lately, I've noticed, like I've never before, how God has placed people in my life.  Each person has a purpose in my life.  Of course, my parents are an important part . . . they are both very instrumental in who I am and how I raise my children and my marriage.  But within the last few weeks, I have noticed that people that I call friends, we may not even know where each other lives or know their phone numbers, but none the less they are friends, have a big influence / part in my life. 
   This has opened my eyes to the fact that we are all connected.  God is showing me in different ways that even the smallest actions / words / situations are meaningful in His big plan.  Sometimes the outcome supports His big plan and sometimes, well, it supports the world's or ours. 
   I love the people I 'do life' with, even if we disagree.  Those are the 'friends' that help me take a step back and ask myself 'how can I change me' to be more instrumental in God's big plan.  I love 'my people'.

Why I love my mom

Her contagious positive attitude, smile, bright eyes, and laughter!

Her corny-ness!

Her ability to NOT meddle and to love unconditionally!

The way she lives for today!

The way she spoils her grandchildren (and daughter)!

How she protects myself and others from unnecessary negativity!

   How she makes ice box lemon pie, lemonade, and lemon cookies out of lemons!

Sometimes I wish I had more good qualities from my mom, but I am grateful for the ones I did acquire!  Hopefully Rebecca and Christian can extract my best attributes as they grow and mature!  And hopefully they will be able to find a long list of 'why I love my mom' to write one day!

   I love you, Mom!    Love,  Your 1st Angel

Application

What do you think of when I say application?  To apply makeup, to fill out an application, . . .   I am striving, really striving to apply some recently learned skills to achieve a more peaceful, Christ-centered home and family.  It ain't easy.  My approach is to start small (with little changes) and build, but I'm afraid that I will lose my steam and regress or stop all together.  I don't like to fail (who does?), but I have nothing to lose, right?  Only good can prevail.  Anyway, I wanted to document that I am on a mission, a mission of application so I will be accountable.  Lots of 'a' words in this blog, huh!  Things that make you go, hmmmm!

Dark room and shadows = fun and laughter WHAT?

My biggest thrill and enjoyment on July 4th was . . .

   after putting Christian to bed, Rebecca invited David and I into her room to watch her twirl her glow in the dark necklace.  Cool, but even cooler was when we broke out the flashlight and made finger shadows on the wall. 

  The funniest was when David told Rebecca to look at the wall and don't turn around, then in front of the flashlight he put one of her small dog stuffed animals.  She kept looking at the shadow on the wall and said, 'Wow, Dad, how did you do that?'.  He hid the stuffed animal and kept saying, 'oh, ow, man that was hard'.  Then he told her to look at the wall again and don't turn around and made it obvious by saying let me try a teddy bear and used one of her big teddy bears and she said, 'Daaadd!'

I love family time in a dark room with shadows!

What is important to me?

Is what's important to me lining up with what's important to God?  Hmmmm!  I wonder??  My kids . . . well, of course.  My husband, well, definitely.  My job, hmmm?  Food, uh, yea!  Dove dark chocolate, . . . . unfortunately, no : (    My neighbors and neighborhood, . . . yes.  My parents, . . . absolutely!  A stranger, well, indeed they are important.  The very thing I try to avoid when I'm asking myself these questions is . . . how about my attitude . . . ugh . . . very, very important to God!

   I have the hardest time with this!  This is an area I feel like a failure the most!  It is so easy to attempt to act proper in public . . . whether at work, grocery, chatting with a neighbor or friend . . . but when no one is looking or when I'm behind the confines of the walls of our home . . . my attitude doesn't always get the seal of approval with God.  And it's funny, well not really, how the people who mean the most to me and know me the best get the raw end of the deal.  So here's to all of my loved ones who get to know, see and hear the garbage that escapes me from time to time. 

    I'm sorry . . . I dislike this aspect of myself . . . I greatly appreciate that you love me even though you've seen the good, bad, and oh so ugly . . . and I pray that when I meet up with trials in my life that I can approach and go through them knowing that . . . you will be with me, God will be with me, and that trials shape and mold us into something even more refined that hopefully pleases the Lord by our faith in His goodness.

Don't quite know how these blogs turn into what they do, but I just type and this is what comes out!

  Anyway, I feel a strong urge to type how my heart swells with love and joy when I think of my kids!

Life

Life . . . yes, it is a board game . . . don't think I've ever played . . . life is hard enough, I don't think the board game would be that easy . . . guess there aren't as many factors in the board game as there is in 'real' life. 

I like life . . . no, I LOVE life.  So short though!  Just when you realize not to take it for granted, it seems to speed up!  For instance, this morning I had an urge to grab Rebecca and pull her on top of me so I could let her rest on me like she did when she was a baby with her ear resting near my heart and I could smell her hair right under my chin.  Well, I did it and my chin rested on her head as her feet touched my ankles!  Not a baby any more!

I'm very happy with the family God has put me into and just as pleased with the friends He's brought into my life!  Some just for a while and a couple for a lifetime . . . all special to me!  I'm very interested in things I don't understand or will never comprehend, such as the big why's, what if's, how's of life, but I'm starting to understand that it's not for me to figure out which means I must trust God with those things in my life.  Some of those things use to and sometimes does cause me anxiety.  This is when I need to remind myself that I cannot control everything and ultimately, I'm not in control.

I also find myself letting others determine my happiness.  I do think it is hard to work/live side by side with others that are negative and try to be Mrs. Happy all the time.  I also know that I cannot account for others' actions, just my own. 

I often wish that life (meaning the junk in life) would not block my ability to get close to, communicate with, and maintain strong, lasting relationships with the ones I love.

What stuff/junk stops me (I'm asking myself)?  Rejection, competitiveness, immaturity, stubbornness, childishness, differences, personality conflicts, lack of time, and on.
 
What reasons should I make this a priority?  #1 God wants us to love one another, put others before ourselves, treat others as I want to be treated, connection with our earthly friends and family is important, I want others to know without a doubt that I love them and would do more than they could imagine for them.

How can I accomplish a closer connection with the ones I love?  Live life more openly, express my love in ways I haven't before, don't be ashamed/shy when communicating with others, spend more time connecting with God, appreciating others more and letting them know, stop thinking that other's know what I'm thinking or others have the same opinion as me, listen (really listen)

These are my thoughts / answers . . . could you do anything different to make your life more fulfilling or God pleasing?